11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
