Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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