i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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