My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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