Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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