Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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