You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can i not drive my cunt home
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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