The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
