I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize