he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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