i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
