YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
