There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
