My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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