Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
