I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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