Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
