So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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