I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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