sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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