Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
