i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
