Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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