This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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