discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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