Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize