I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
