You're so nebulous sometimes
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
