I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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