come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
