why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
