I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
