Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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