glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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