Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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