i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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