YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
