But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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