Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
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when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize