My first STD was from a foam party
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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