I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
