I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
