barbara walters just said penis...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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