That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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