Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
