At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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