I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
