Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
