i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
