it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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