Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
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Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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