Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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