Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
