My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
