these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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