I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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