Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.

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(510): View more from California

one might say we're banned from that church

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

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(702): View more from Nevada

was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12

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(404): View more from Georgia

It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.

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(210): View more from Texas

I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.

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