Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight

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(312): View more from Illinois

I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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(956): View more from Texas

I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(434): View more from Virginia

I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.

(1-434): View more from Virginia

Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.

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(714): View more from California

I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.

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(253): View more from Washington

We just fucked each other sober. #goteam

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