the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
