Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My vagina is very pro this idea
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
