I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
