you would pick up someone in the library
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
