Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We got so high we made milksteak
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
