I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
