why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
