Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder

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(310): View more from California

but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

he fucked me so hard my future children felt it

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(415): View more from California

Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

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(812): View more from Indiana

No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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(309): View more from Illinois

I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.

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(818): View more from California

Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."

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