you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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