Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
