someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
