dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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