I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
