we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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