Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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