took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
