I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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