Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think I am morally bankrupt
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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