I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
